Homework #1
1. Describe the principle "don't criticize, condemn, or complain" according to Carnegie.
2. Apply the Carnegie principle of "don't criticize" to communication technology (per our class lecture).
3. Describe the "big secret dealing with people" according to Carnegie.
When you criticize, condemn, or complain, you are simply allowing yourself to show the worst possible side about you and it gets you nowhere in your relationships with people. Criticizing only puts people on the defensive and they will feel the need to justify themselves. When this happens no common ground can be found between two people who are too busy trying to protect themselves and/or their ideas and actions. Appreciation should be shown in place of condemning someone. Instead of berating for a job done poorly-appreciate and praise for the part that was done well.
ReplyDeleteI believe in this age, it has become easier and easier for people to criticize each other. No longer do you have to stand face to face and have the gumption to deliver the message. You can simply text someone and tell them exactly what they are doing wrong; you can directly or indirectly message them on face book to let them know exactly what your thoughts are. Directly by sending a message or indirectly by posting a status update to let the person know what you think without assigning the message to them. Shooting off an email is much easier than having to look a person in the eye. We have become a society of people that don’t care how their message comes across.
Everyone wants to feel important, no matter the action. Every action a person does is first and foremost done because they want to feel important. By genuinely making other people feel important and appreciating them, you can win their trust and loyalty.
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Delete1.) People don’t respond well to negative things. When a boss yells at their workers to stop doing texting during work they may stop while he’s there but the second he turns his back they will pull their phones back out and most likely bad mouth the boss. If the boss would complement them on a job well done and tell them the things they do well instead of constantly nagging about the one thing they don’t do well the employees would find the respect for the boss and most likely put their phones away for good.
ReplyDelete2.) People constantly want to point out the bad things people do and make them feel inadequate. It’s like on Facebook how people keep complaining that there is no “dislike” button to click on. If you don’t like the status or the picture why do you have to point that out by clicking “dislike” or writing a mean comment. Just move on with your day. People don’t respond well to being criticized and it’s no way to make friends or connections with people when you always have something negative to say.
3.) The big secret to dealing with people is to arouse the other person to want to do something. If you want someone to do something for you don’t explain how it will help you if they do it, they don’t care how it helps you. Let them know how it will benefit them by doing it. Everyone wants has the craving to fulfill their own wants not anyone else’s needs and wants. So do yourself a favor and stop talking about yourself and talk about the person you are dealing with.
It is so true what Carnegie refers to when he says "any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain", but it takes a true leader to be able to lead by taking the time to explain the issues without making the person feel unappreciated. In fact it is proven that most people do not react well to negative condemnation or criticism. Most people will try not to repeat their mistakes or short comings when you simply take the time to explain the issue and then show them or help them to improve upon it. I was very impressed with Carnegie's story of the pilot Bob Hoover and his encounter with the airplane mechanic, and how Hoover handled the matter. We as a society should try and emulate that tactic and put it into our everyday lives.
ReplyDeleteIt is also much easier to criticize, condemn, and complain than it is to take the time to help a person to understand what it is they have done by influencing a positive effect. Carnegie talks about "making the other person wants to do it" and that is exactly what needs to happen. If a person messes up and is criticized for it negatively then the chances of them turning that into a positive is slim to none. If you have a positive influence such as Bob Hoover's toward the airline mechanic then you may not only have helped that person realize his mistakes but you have also influenced that person to want to do the best job they can moving forward.
Most of us want to succeed in whatever it is we do. Just on that principle alone we should understand when a mistake is made then it is to be dealt with positively. We as a society need to invoke a positive way of dealing with mistakes. Once we have done that then we will all be better off.
1) Carnegie gives several examples of why not to criticize, condemn, or complain, and all of them end in negative way. In doing this, the point is made that all three of things never turn out well for the person doing it or receiving it. This seems to be based on positive feedback, if you are always positive you will influence everyone around you to be positive. I see this as a singular view of the situation, mainly because the examples used are to the extreme, so they will make the most impact on the reader.
ReplyDelete2) The principle of "don't criticize" is easily applied to any situation. The best example the book gave was the aviation mechanic putting the wrong fuel in the plane, and causing it to crash. When confronted about it he was not scolded but, told to prepare another plain for flight the next day. This was because they believed he would not make the same mistake twice. What if the mechanic is scared to death of making another mistake, and that fear causes him to make a mistake, do you give him a third try? If you can’t tell I am not a fan of this approach all of the time, because I have seen it breed arrogance from lack of accountability. I have even heard people say, “It doesn’t matter if I make a mistake, because there is no accountability.”
3) The "big secret dealing with people" is to be like a dog. No matter what happens they are always unconditionally supportive, and loving. The way they wag their tale when they see you, is like a person having a big smile on their face. Carnegie also talked about making people feel like they are doing something for them selves and not for you. He talked about a mixture of this and positive body language. The best example of this was trying to get the calf into the barn. The father and son were pushing and pulling on the calf and could not get him to budge. The mother saw this from the kitchen window and came to help. She stuck her finger in the calf’s mouth, and it started sucking on it as she led it into the barn.
Homework #1
ReplyDelete1. Describe the principle "don't criticize, condemn, or complain" according to Carnegie.
Carnegie stresses that the principles “don’t criticize, condemn, or complain” are fundamental techniques when it comes to handling people. Criticism is often looked at as ineffective and useless. When someone feels as if they are being criticized they often become defensive and believe they need to validate their actions and thoughts. This in turn makes the person feel unimportant. As a result, resentment builds toward the person as well as the situation and in the long run makes no effective changes. After all, criticism only ends in condemnation. It is essential to try and recognize why people are the way they are in order to gain acceptance and compassion.
2. Apply the Carnegie principle of "don't criticize" to communication technology (per our class lecture).
There are many different social networking sites that people can belong to. Some of these include Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etcetera. These sites have built their own “communities” in a sense and if you are not a part of them then you are criticized in some way or another. Technology has made communication too easy in a sense; what happened to the days of letters? Companies rely on technology in order to deal with their customers. What about the customer that does not write an e-mail and instead sends a handwritten letter? People do not want to justify or defend why they are or are not a part of social networking. It seems to me that technology has made it easier to criticize those that do not use technology on a day to day basis.
3. Describe the "big secret dealing with people" according to Carnegie.
The “big secret of dealing with people” is to make them feel as if they are important and appreciated. Desiring to be accepted and cared about is human nature and a craving we all have. Often time’s people get their feeling of importance from different things. Showing encouragement and sincere appreciation can help develop a person into the best they can be. Appreciation is powerful and causes positive results when compared to criticism and ridicule. Give honest and sincere appreciation and you will go far.
1) The principle of "don't criticize, condemn, or complain" refers to the fact that as much as we may want to blame someone for their wrongs or point out their mistakes, they will not take blame for their actions. "Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don't criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be."
ReplyDelete2) With the popularity of social networking sites it is easy to criticize than ever before. Belonging to these sites creates a breeding ground for criticism, we can now "Facebook stalk" our ex's or see who somebody is dating and compare ourselves and boost our own confidence while finding faults with someone else.
3) The big secret to dealing with people is listening to them. Making them feel important and appreciated, make them feel like what they are telling you matters.
-Aaron Henretty
ReplyDelete1.) When Carnegie discusses the principle of "don't criticize, condemn, or complain" he speaks of not presenting one's self in a negative aspect, and therefore causing friction in the relationship. Criticizing, condemning and complaining gets you no where in dealing with people. In fact, it more times than not pushes you back the other way. When we pay attention to the other person and their wants instead of our own, we make much more progress with them than we would in a lifetime of focusing on our own wants.
2.) A lot of communication today doesn't require face-to-face interaction; you can shoot a text, send an email, even "chat" online with someone without ever having to look them in the eye. As many people know, criticing, condemning, and complaining are a whole lot easier when you don't have to do so to someone's face. Hence the reason so many of us, by human nature, do so behind others' backs. Criticizing, condemning, and complaining have never been easier in today's world of communication technology, especially in today's youth. The principle of which Carnegie talks about is much more important today than ever before. We must try out hardest not to act negative towards the people around us even though it is so easy to do so.
3.) The "big secret of dealing with people" is to give honest and sincere appreciation. Everybody loves to feel important. It is, according to John Dewey, one of America's most profound philosophers, to be human nature's "deepest urge". So, when we are dealing with people, we can make huge strides by paying attention to the interest and wants of those people, becoming anxiously engaged in what they are telling to us, and then giving honest and sincere appreication towards that person for thier hards works and interests, not flattery.
-Aaron Henretty
1. Carnegie tells us not to criticize, condemn, or complain. This is because it is in our best interest not to do these things if we want to be successful business professionals. Criticizing, condemning, and complaining only opens us up to the same treatment by others. By tarnishing another person, we will only tarnish our own reputation and not be seen in a positive light.
ReplyDelete2. Our in class discussion reiterated Carnegie’s advice. We saw how the trolls on anonymous blogs blasted Concordia University by getting into the mud and spreading speculation and rumor. This only helped to interest the public and prod them to find out if there was any truth to the trolls claims. The public was then able to find contradicting information, i.e. Concordia is Lutheran and conservative, and decide for themselves. Troll criticism only helped to raise awareness of Concordia University and guide the public to discovering the truth. Now, Concordia has established a successful presence in Boise, proving that criticism is ineffective for getting a positive result (in this case no Concordia.)
3. The big secret in dealing with people is to listen to them and be appreciative. People will reflect you in a more positive light if you show them courtesy and cohesion in communication. No one likes a know-it-all because the mere fact that they are an expert in all fields shows they are spewing false information and not listening. If you make it know that you appreciate people’s time and efforts, they very well may show you the same kickback. Winning people is key to being a successful business person and listening and appreciation of others around you is the first step on the ladder to success.
-Sam Bell
1.
ReplyDeleteThe principle, “don’t’ criticize, condemn, or complain,” is based on the concept that we don’t know where they are coming from. Another person’s thoughts and actions are a manifest of their life experience. Their experiences are unique to them and others will never know what it is like to be them. With that in mind we shouldn’t view them through our eyes and apply our past experiences to their situation and criticize, condemn or complain about them.
2.
Applied to communication technology, the principle of “don’t criticize” was discussed in terms of how we respond via posts on the internet. The example of an Oregon based law school that was expanding to Idaho was used to show how internet users criticized, condemned and complained about the school. The internet users were posting off the little information they had, which was basically stereotyped liberal Oregon viewpoints, and didn’t reflect the schools conservative background. The negative posting stir merely advertized the school which interested readers who conducted their own research to discover the schools actual background.
3.
According to Carnegie the “big secret of dealing with people” is to, “give honest and sincere appreciation.” He points out that people have a desire to feel important and that we can make them feel important if we simply show them appreciation. The appreciation that is given can’t be fake with empty flattery that people can see through, it has to be real and heartfelt.
John Rea
1. Describe the principle "don't criticize, condemn, or complain" according to Carnegie.
ReplyDeleteCarnegie is trying to get at the principle of “don’t criticize, condemn, or complain” by showing that these techniques do not work when dealing with people and unavoidable situations. He sees it as ineffective and it turns a conversation in the wrong direction. It’s important to look at each person for who they are instead of giving yourself a negative image. Progress will be made if the focus is taken off of our wants.
2. Apply the Carnegie principle of "don't criticize" to communication technology (per our class lecture).
When it comes to communication technology, the principle of “don’t criticize” becomes less and less of a ‘go-to’ problem fix. So many of the ways we communicate on a day-to-day basis are done though technology means; i.e. email, text message, etc. For example, instead of confronting your friend face to face about an issue you two are having, you write her quick Facebook message that consists of everything you’re thinking. There is no consequence to your harsh complaining and criticizing. Also, if you do not have a social networking account like Facebook or Twitter, we are criticized for not having that outlet of communication. Companies these days are relying on the use of technology to override face to face communication.
3. Describe the "big secret dealing with people" according to Carnegie
The big secret to dealing with people in life is making them feel important and wanted. Being honest and being sincere and making someone feel like they are doing something for themselves and not for you. Get yourself out of the picture and focus on the person you are dealing with. People want to feel appreciated, they want someone to engage in the conversation and make them feel important. Now, I’m not saying flattery, I’m saying a genuine interest in their hard work and/or talents. That is the “big secret.”
-+ Kali Sanders
Larisa Gavrilyuk
ReplyDelete1. Describe the principle "don't criticize, condemn, or complain" according to Carnegie.
-Carnegie wants us to take a good look at our selves first. What he means by that is before we criticize, condemn, or complain stop for a moment and think about the situation of that person. What would you do if you were in their place. He wants us to do as Lincoln did, maybe do write that letter to blow off steam but put it aside, don't mail it. It will not do any good to be mean to people it will only back fire on us.
2. Apply the Carnegie principle of "don't criticize" to communication technology (per our class lecture).
-People now a days often times communicate through email, texting, Facebook, etc. which means they are more likely to criticize then if they were face-to-face with that individual. People are quick to judge and will say things that are more harmful through email because they don't have to look the other person in the eye. Perhaps there are no consequences even when communication electronically, texting or email gives us escape and often times people are very quick to judge or criticize because of that.
3. Describe the "big secret dealing with people" according to Carnegie.
-The "big secret dealing with people" is not that big of a secret, I have come to realize. Carnegie describes to us that all people want is to be appreciated, they want to feel important and want to be noticed for the good things that they do. Don't be so quick to judge or yell at employees, co-workers, children, etc. no good will come of that just remember to be nice, calm and compliment.
Ben Wagner
Delete1)The author wants us to look inward before we start finding the faults of others and holding them against them. There is a good quote in the end of chapter one that states "God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days. Why should you and I? I think this sums up Carnegie's view on the subject, that if the greatest of all, at least in Christendom, withholds judgement, should we not to do the same.
2) When it comes to communication through use of technologies such as the Internet or text messaging, we seem to have more courage than we may otherwise to be more condemning or critical of someone or some idea. In class we discussed the Idaho Statesman blog posts that can at times be very hurtful and mean, and discussed how all news can be good news when taken in a certain light. The courage that people falsely have when communicating through such means is at best imaginary and need not be present in such forms of communication driven by technology.
3) Carnegie discusses his views that the big secret to dealing with people and making them do what you would like them to is by giving them what they want. He lists certain needs that all humans have, such as the need for food, money, and sexual gratification, but also lists the need for people to feel praised, and feel as if they belong. I have found this to be very true in my line of work. I am responsible for anywhere from 15-30 crew members, depending on the time of year, and I have found that by trying to help them buy into the vision that I have for my organization by trying to find ways to thank and congratulate them is a much more effective method than using rigid, corrective action as a default for dealing with situations that are not always ideal.
Daniel Marshall
ReplyDelete1. Describe the principle "don't criticize, condemn, or complain" according to Carnegie.
Dale Carnegie talks about how we should not kick over the bee-hive. This concept can be applied with people that we are trying to influence. If we criticize someone then they are most likely going to become defensive and possibly hostile towards you. Even murderers don't like to be blamed for the things they do. People are usually turned off when you criticize their character.
2. Apply the Carnegie principle of "don't criticize" to communication technology (per our class lecture)
It is easier for people to criticize others now with technology. There is less and less interaction face to face. Most correspondence is done through the internet and text-messaging. Because of this people are willing to be harsher in what they write because they can be hid by a user ID or email instead of actually seeing their face. Bloggers are especially harsh. These are the 40 year olds living in their parent's basement, sitting on a bean bag and eating Cheetos, as we talked about in class. These people can't seem to write one positive thing on the internet. Dale Carnegie wants us to rise above this and change the way be communicate with others in order to motivate them.
3. Describe the "big secret dealing with people" according to Carnegie.
The big secret is that people like to feel important and appreciated. That is what everyone strives for. Nobody like being told that they are no good and should give up. People respond better to positive talk even if they are not good at it. Often times they will become better at it when they feel appreciated. This concept applies in all aspects of like, family, work, friends, school. We should strive to vocalize our appreciation to others more often.
Laura Wakefield
ReplyDelete1. Don't criticize, condemn, or complain because this turns people off. People don't like to be "put down." People also do not like complainers. You will better influence people, and like the book is titled "win more friends" by excluding these three things from your personality.
2. It is much easier to criticize now because of the strides in communication technology. People are able to hide behind their screen names and user names. They don't have to stand up in front of anyone, so they feel so much more bold about talking all their s***! Most "bloggers" feel the need to belittle athletes, celebrities, communities and cities. There in little positive interaction via internet communication.
3. The big secret is people want to feel appreciated, important, and well liked. This isn't ALWAYS possible, but when it is, it's important to let someone know they are appreciated. People will respond to you better, and there will be more positive energy.
1. Carnegie explains this principle as what I like to think "shedding positive light". If you explain something in a positive way instead of a negative way, people are more likely to do it. If you are negative towards a person, the relationship or conversation is most likely to be negative. When you are negative and criticizing people will be just as negative as well as defensive, which makes them less likely to comply or do as told.
ReplyDelete2. The principle "don't criticize" has long been forgot thanks to the social media. With sites like Facebook and Twitter everyone seems to know what everyone is doing all the time. People can find something to criticize from pictures to who you are friends with. People can hide behind these fake "persona" they build using social media and just write and blog about what everyone else is doing wrong, instead of looking at their selves.
3. Carnegie believes that people have a desire and drive to feel important. So his "big secret of dealing with people", is to make them feel important. In order to do this you show others appreciation. When you show others appreciating, they look at you in a positive and appreciative light.
-Amanda Berardinelli
1. This principle according to Carnegie essentially boils down to taking an approach of communication that makes others feel open to sharing, instead of creating a hostile environment leading to defensiveness. If one chooses to criticize, condemn, or complain, they are only closing the door for effective and efficient communication with the other party.
ReplyDelete2. With the advancements in technology, criticizing becomes easier and more frequent. The more people use technological forms of communication (text messaging, email, Facebook, etc.) the more we neglect the idea of ‘how the other party may interrupt the message’. Nor are people censoring their messages as much as they would in a face to face conversation. As discussed in class, bloggers have free reign over their posts on the internet with the ability to criticize whenever they choose to.
3. The biggest secret when dealing with people is really a simple concept, but not applied as much as one would like to think. People want to feel appreciated, plain and simple. Appreciation is certainly not the same as flattery and one must be cautious with the use of forms of flattery. Being appreciative of someone is an easy gesture when you can stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about others, more importantly thinking about the good in others.
-Katie Amen
Takaaki Nakagami
ReplyDelete1. Describe the principle "don't criticize, condemn, or complain" according to Carnegie.
Criticism will puts person on the defensive and usually makes the uncomfortable. It hurts person's feeling and pride and more.
Before you condemn people, you should try to understand others. It is not good idea not to criticize, complain, and condemn without knowing people.
2. Apply the Carnegie principle of "don't criticize" to communication technology (per our class lecture).
I think "don't criticize" on Communication technology is so hard to do. People might not thinking about other person on other side when we criticize on the media. it is so easy to criticize because other person would not see other person and they might not care whether they hurts other people or not.
3. Describe the "big secret dealing with people" according to Carnegie.
We have to make other people feel important. If we are nice to them and treat them really nice then they would be nice and be open for ourselves. Smile, talk about their interest, good listener, and all of these make others feels important.
1. Describe the principle "don't criticize, condemn, or complain" according to Carnegie.
ReplyDeleteIn general, people do not criticize themselves for anything. If people never criticize or blame themselves for their behaviors or actions, then criticizing or condemning them will never be successful. Criticism only wounds pride, evokes resentment, and usually puts others on the defensive.
2. Apply the Carnegie principle of "don't criticize" to communication technology (per our class lecture).
There seems to be a sense of importance and superiority when one person criticizes another. The evidence of this strange phenomenon has become far more prevalent with the advancement of technology. From social network sites, blogs, movies reviews to news stories, people find outlets to voice a criticizing opinion and in return feel a sense of importance for doing so. We all know the affect a negative comment or judgment has on us individually. I wonder what the effect would be if people really followed the golden rule instead.
3. Describe the "big secret dealing with people" according to Carnegie.
The big secret of dealing with people, in my opinion can be summed up with the short anecdote at the beginning of Chapter 3. Carnegie describes his method of fishing. He does not bait the fish with what he would want to eat, but what they want. People want to be appreciated, validated, and feel important. Understanding how to see that and approach people with that mindset would significantly improve human relations.
Homework #1
ReplyDelete1. Describe the principle "don't criticize, condemn, or complain" according to Carnegie.
Most often I find myself criticizing on the initial interaction with not only someone new, but also those I am very close to. I find myself complaining about things in life that do not matter and condemning those that I feel are not doing what I think or believe. The principle just goes to show us that we need to pay more attention to how we are as human beings rather than how we act have been acting. We can find life more enjoyable with a positive outlook.
2. Apply the Carnegie principle of "don't criticize" to communication technology (per our class lecture).
Social media such as facebook, myspace, and other sites have become a playground for more criticism to occur. Not only is it easier to criticize in the comfort of your own home, it is also an easier way for revenge to occur at a deeper level. Things in life make a full circle and what is said in the social media, can and may affect a person for life.
3. Describe the "big secret dealing with people" according to Carnegie.
Show everyone that you come in contact with, an appreciation for them. Many times in the book it states how important a person's name means to them. For example the story of the man that took the time to pronounce a customer's name in full in which case brought the customer to tears because nobody has ever said his right name. We must validate others by listening and really taking an interest in what they have to say.
Kolby
Carnegie says, “Don’t criticize, condemn or complain” because those behaviors are counterproductive to achieving your goals. It is likely that you will alienate, anger, frustrate and embarrass the person you are dealing with if you criticize them. It is a normal desire to want to be important and criticizing, condemning and complaining just get in the way of making your interlocutor less likely to feel important when dealing with you.
ReplyDeleteCarnegie’s admonition applies to all forms of communication. In his book he shows examples of verbal and written interactions. I believe these were the primary means of communication at the time Carnegie wrote the book. These principles can be extended to all forms of communication. Whatever medium you are using courteous and sincere communication is a better way to behave than criticizing. Isn’t complaining just one way that people use to try to feel important?
The “big secret to dealing with people” is to recognize that getting a person to want to do what you want them to do is the only way to get them to do what you want them to. Giving honest and sincere appreciation to a person helps them to feel appreciated and that they and the job they are doing are important. According to Carnegie, people crave feeling important and appreciated.
Steve J
Andrew Clarke
ReplyDelete1. Describe the principle "don't criticize, condemn, or complain" according to Carnegie.
When “Winning Friends and Influencing People” we shouldn’t criticize, condemn or complain because it will only make people resent you. You don’t make friends and it’s hard to influence someone when they’re on the defensive about something you said to them. People don’t respond well to negativity. It’s a lot more beneficial to be positive especially when influencing people so you can capitalize on it.
2. Apply the Carnegie principle of "don't criticize" to communication technology (per our class lecture).
Talking in class about the “Internet Troll” is the perfect example. Sometimes people say nasty things on the net to be funny or get a rise out of someone. But sometimes it’s to make yourself feel good by putting others down, it’s simply not productive. People are always tougher behind the wall of the internet but the reality is there are people on the other side of that cyber wall seeing what you say. It’s hard to be successful when you have no friends.
3. Describe the "big secret dealing with people" according to Carnegie.
You are interested in what you like, others are not. People are turned off by someone talking about themselves. The best way to deal with people is to bait the hook to suit the fish. When talking about things that others like something interesting happens, you become more likable. And people will be more inclined to befriend you. Of course saying positive things about others is always a good idea. So maybe mom was right when she said “if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.”
Homework #1
ReplyDelete1. Describe the principle "don't criticize, condemn, or complain" according to Carnegie.
Carnegie's principle is rather straightforward and simple, and what he means is exactly what he states. He tells us not to criticize, condemn, or complain about others and gives us examples of paramount figures from the past that have accomplished great success by not getting after others, but rather being encouraging. Carnegie gives examples of how criticizing others will only lead them to have feelings of contempt, because they will always have justifications for their actions and want to uphold their easily hurt pride. He suggests that we should rather first understand others' points of view and employ the emotional side of dealing with people rather than the logical. In a nutshell, speak ill of no one.
2. Apply the Carnegie principle of "don't criticize" to communication technology (per our class lecture).
We discussed in class ways in which we communicate nowadays through various forms of technology, just as Carnegie's examples from the past were often through mailed letters. The same principle applies. People are even more apt to criticize one another through technological exchange, because it is so much less personable and so much more anonymous than face to face interactions. However, I think the point here is that just as much damage can be done criticizing through these outlets, in fact even more damage because often times these technological communications we use to post a thought are seen by the many if not the masses. So the point here is that the "don't criticize" principle applies in our modern societies' social technological communication applications.
3. Describe the "big secret dealing with people" according to Carnegie.
Again, Carnegie's "big secret of dealing with people" is a simple straightforward piece of advice, it's just a matter of applying it that's difficult. His big secret basically boils down to being genuine with people and giving them your sincere appreciation as often as possible. As Carnegie explains in truth, the only way that someone will do something is by getting them to want to do it. This piece of advice is of upmost importance, because everyone in the world is looking to feel important, and all it takes is a simple compliment to remain in that persons thoughts and brighten their outlook. Appreciation is a tool of inspiration, meaning we have the power to inspire. It's no secret, people crave appreciation, and it's something we can offer to friends, family, and strangers daily.
-Grant Osman
Vanessa Rios
Delete1. The principal “don’t criticize, condemn, or complain” according to Carnegie is putting yourself in the place of the other person and not being quick to judge a person. When a person criticizes another person the person that is being criticized is not going to be persuaded they are going to justify themselves and stand their ground. Criticizing an individual will either make them condemn you or they will justify their actions. When you criticize a person it will most likely end in an argument and resentment. When you are dealing with people you are more likely to get them to do what you want them to do if you are explaining to them the why and not just commanding what to do. People act on emotion not on logic. People that have done wrong or have made a mistake can be taught by getting a second chance. In the example of the F-51 that was fueled with the wrong type of fuel, the mechanic was expecting to be in trouble fired etc., however, the pilot, Hoover, told him that he was to fuel up the jet the following day. Instead of condemning people, by leveling with them and trying to understand them and their actions, “it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.”
2. The Carnegie principle “don’t criticize” can be applied to communication technology in many ways. People are more likely to respond to ideas, comments, posts etc. when they are behind the “cyber world wall”. Whether it is negative or positive they are most likely to be involved. For example, there are a lot of people that will say things to each other over texting or online that they would never say to another person face to face. Cyber bullying, for example, is a great example when it comes to criticizing and communication technology. It seems that people feel safe behind the separation between them and the other person.
3. The “big secret dealing with people” according to Carnegie is that a person will only do something when they want to. So the big secret is making that person want to do something. The way to do this is by giving people what they want to make them do what you want. The desire to be great and the feeling of being important is the key to successful relationships. I particularly like how Schwab put it, “I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people, the greatest asset I posses, and the way to develop the best is in a person by appreciation and encouragement.” By encouraging people and being enthusiastic you are giving them genuine compliments and making them feel important. The self fulfilling prophecy declares that people are influenced by a truth for example, if someone is constantly being encouraged and appreciated they will be influenced and think they are great and will be great. But it is not just about giving compliments. The compliments must be sincere and honest. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Stephanie Greenfield
ReplyDelete1. Pick your battles! Condemning and complaining turns people away and creates a negative image.
2. People want positive images about self and there business. Look at the social media, they promote positive and self promotion. People do not like to be criticized and it puts them on the defense. Make it integrating to others ( make it about them self ) and more people will become interested.
3. The big secret is make someone feel important! Fuel their ego by genuinely showing interest
Mecala Fitzpatrick
ReplyDelete1. Don't complain, etc.. because like Carnegie says it will kick over the beehive. You would of ruined that friendship already and made yourself look bad in the other person's eyes. Don't have negative things to say towards the other person because they will always be offended.
2. For communication technology that goes back to social media, such as Facebook. You cannot dislike something on Facebook and therefore Facebook is trying to make it hard for you to put someone down. You never want to come off as a negative company in communication and if there is you want to solve the problem ASAP.
3. The big secret is to make that person feel important. Make them feel as though what they have to say means something and you listen to them. Listening is key, I think. People want to feel special, different, unique, that is what marketing is all about. Making the customer feel appreciated and unique. Each customer should feel like they have some sort of say in the company even if they do not at all.
1) Describe the principle "don't criticize, condemn, or complain.”
ReplyDeleteCarnegie makes a point of his basic principles of “don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.” This simple phrase used throughout the first portion of the book is a fundamental method when it comes down to handling people in our everyday lives. Most of the time, criticism is not a healthy and effective model of change. The first symptom of criticism is defensiveness. When doing this the person quickly feels unimportant, something that Carnegie steers clear of. Sometimes this principle can be used in work type situations and only if it is constructive. Most situations have a negative result if the person feels that they are being criticized or condemned.
2) Apply the principle of "don't criticize" to communication technology (per our class lecture).
With the change in our communication techniques, a lot of communication today doesn't require much face-to-face interaction. You can do so many things now like communicating online and through text where the simple ideas of communication are never explored. Our youth is the biggest population of internet and online communications. I personally feel that our youth could very well be considered the most defensive group in our society. Things over text can come across completely different and can really hit the viewer a different way. Something’s may explode over text and some may not be taken as seriously as they should. This topic is important to explore in a time of ever-changing technology and the “phase out” of normal human communication.
3) Describe the "big secret dealing with people" according to Carnegie.
The big secret to dealing with people is giving those around the appreciation, and importance that they feel they deserve. People love to feel important and appreciated and if treated correctly you might have more of a positive outcome more often.